Getting Remarried Whether You're Young or Old

We all know that getting married for the first time is one of life’s major changes, so it only stands to reason that getting remarried is definitely a life changing event as well.

Marriages end for a variety of reasons. Regardless of why or even how your marriage may have ended, however, getting remarried at any age requires more consideration in taking that big step than it did the first time around. So, if you find yourself in the single-after-having-been-married group and you are looking at the possibility of a subsequent marriage, be honest with yourself as you consider the following:

What are the real reasons for getting remarried? Consider them thoroughly and honestly. Odds are they are directly related to the reason your last marriage ended, and despite all the love you may profess for your new fiancé, a whole stack of those reasons will more than likely torpedo your new marriage before you’ve exchanged rings.

Have you resolved issues and “unpacked” the old baggage? One of the hardest and most challenging exercises is taking a deep look into who we really are in order to keeps from making the same mistakes all over again. Still, if you have worked through a recovery process to address psychological and other issues, you feel secure in who you are, and you are ready to share your life with that special someone, then perhaps you are ready to remarry.

Compatibility. Let’s be real, no two people on earth are going to be perfect for each other 100% of the time. That is something you have to work toward, and you can’t escape it! A wise man once said, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half closed after.” It’s good advice that applies equally to all people considering marriage. Simply put, it means: get to know your soon-to-be spouse really well before getting married, and be overly forgiving after exchanging vows. It takes time to develop a good, strong relationship and that’s why it is important to get to know your prospective spouse before rushing into a marriage that may be full of regrets later. Remember, you are not only marrying the one you fell in love with, but in most cases embracing the whole package that might include children and in-laws.

Are there children involved? Combining families is a huge consideration and shouldn’t be taken too lightly. This applies to both the younger couples as well as those who are getting remarried. There will be more work involved for younger couples when bringing their young children together as a family. Children, in most cases, will be more supportive if their feelings and their input are taken into consideration. Talk openly with them both in private and with your partner present about the possibility of getting remarried and answer any of their questions and consider their opinions. Promote bonding opportunities between your children and your soon-to-be spouse. Doing so will increase the likelihood of a long-lasting relationship as a homogenized family as opposed to a dysfunctional “Brady Bunch.”

Beyond the psychological and familial considerations of remarrying, planning the ceremony and celebration of a wedding is almost the same for both a first-time bride and one who is getting remarried. It boils down to what you want. From the dress to the reception, this is your day and with your wisdom and experience, you will make it a great one.

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